If you used my flowchart, and asked a girl on a date, then perhaps you’re wondering what to say on a date. I don’t really plan ahead much except for a few interesting questions. I think that asking stuff like “do you have any siblings?” is lame because it’s a first date cliche and makes you seem like all the other guys. Ask things like, what was your last Halloween costume? And “do you have any weird fears? Weird habits?” “Real or fake Christmas tree?” “Describe your perfect day.”

You should be funny and interesting, but you will find that interesting to a girl is probably different than interesting to your male friends.

It’s ok though. The answer is really quite simple. Better than any dumb line you could memorize is simply asking about her. Don’t ask a never-ending onslaught of questions. If she talks about something, ask more about it. She may say something and stop talking. If it seems like there’s more there, you could say something as simple as, “tell me more.” PEOPLE DON’T LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. It will be so unique to her to experience this.

Listen to two people talking. The other day I was at the gym and overheard two guys talking. One complained about a recent injury. The other said, yeah, I know what you mean, I hurt my shoulder about a year ago and blah, blah… He just made it about himself and tried to top it. If you pay attention, you will notice that you probably do this a lot. Try to be a better listener, not just on dates but in general.

The catch is that you actually have to listen. If she wants to talk about how she is a grown woman who still does color guard, actually listen. And ask questions that make sense. If she complains because the girl two desks down leaves her water bottle on her desk, don’t point out that that’s not worth getting upset about. Try to see how she feels about it and say something like, that’s terrible, you must be stressed, etc.  I’ve had sex with some girls who barely knew anything about me because it is so much more important to listen to them.

I know it seems simple, but I promise that this will be effective.

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